Politics

Britain needs an anti-Brexit centrist party, says politician studiously ignoring the Lib Dems
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UK voters desperately want a pro-European party with sensible centrist policies, according to a poli [...]
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May back from holiday with terrific idea
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THE prime minister has returned from her walking holiday in the Alps with what she promises is an [...]
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I condemn both sides of the 10p Freddo debate, says Corbyn
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JEREMY Corbyn has finally spoken out about the increasing price of Freddos, saying that both sides ' [...]
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Dreary left-wing arse wondering what he did before the internet
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A MAN who spends a huge amount of time posting hysterical left-wing comments on websites is genuinel [...]
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Smug right-wing git wondering what he did before the internet
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A RETIRED man who spends several hours a day posting pompous right-wing comments on websites is wond [...]
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David Davis offers to crucify himself as Brexit payment
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DAVID Davis has offered himself for crucifixion if Britain can leave the EU on favourable terms. [...]
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We thought Brexit was a type of wafer biscuit, admit pensioners
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ELDERLY 'Leave' voters have admitted they thought Brexit was a chocolate-covered wafer biscuit. [...]
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Livingstone publishes list of all the people he should have killed when he was mayor
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KEN Livingstone has claimed Britain would be a much better place if he had killed all the people on [...]
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Vince Cable to appeal to young people by voting for Jeremy Corbyn
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VINCE Cable has unveiled plans to appeal to younger voters by saying he is going to vote for Jeremy [...]
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Theresa May spends holiday planning next disaster
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THE prime minister has confirmed that she is spending her three-week walking holiday trying to come [...]
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Naive man thinks Tories care about things
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A MAN takes Tory proposals that are obviously just public relations exercises completely at face val [...]
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Hardcore Remainers become equally unbearable
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DIE-HARD Remain supporters have become just as hellish and unbearable as their Brexit counterparts, [...]
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Corbyn attacks media for accurately representing his views on Brexit
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JEREMY Corbyn has criticised the media for taking his remarks about the UK and the single market ent [...]
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Jacob Rees-Mogg and David Davis to decide Tory leadership race with cannons
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JACOB Rees-Mogg and David Davis will decide the Tory leadership contest by firing 19th Century canno [...]
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Corbyn trying to return to cult following 

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JEREMY Corbyn is releasing increasingly difficult material to reduce his fanbase to before he was su [...]
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If Brexit was a drug it would be ketamine, say experts  

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SCIENTISTS have confirmed that if Brexit was a drug it would be the popular livestock tranquiliser, [...]
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Brexit might not actually mean Brexit, says May
www.thedailymash.co.uk
BREXIT may mean free movement, unrestrained immigration, closer ties with the EU and many other thin [...]
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Corbyn embraces populism with pledge to ban U2
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JEREMY Corbyn has pledged that a Labour government would ban U2 from Britain. [...]
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No such thing as an unsackable minister, says May, oblivious to irony
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THE prime minister has been praised for her obliviousness to irony after claiming there is 'no such [...]
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Hammond separates Bourbons before eating them, says latest Tory leak
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PHILIP Hammond removes the top of his Bourbon biscuits to lick the cream inside, the latest damaging [...]
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Tories to keep eating each other until there is just one big Tory left
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THE Conservatives have confirmed they will continue to eat each other until only one giant, bloated [...]
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You owe me money, Hammond tells public sector workers
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PHILIP Hammond has told public sector workers that they should pay back what he has given them. [...]
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Having a female leader is simply not credible, confirms Labour
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HAVING a woman in a leading role that has always been filled by a man is just not credible, the Labo [...]
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Government department DExEU ‘stole name from grime artist’
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THE cool-sounding name of the Brexit department DExEU was lifted by senior Conservatives from an up- [...]
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Brexiters compare Great Repeal Bill to their bollocks version of history
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BREXIT supporters have compared the 'Great Repeal Bill' to the Magna Carta and other momentous histo [...]
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Brexit plan actually more like a Clockwork Orange, confirms auditor general
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THE official who compared the government's Brexit plan to a chocolate orange has clarified he actual [...]
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May ‘shed tear that burned through three floors and an intern’
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THERESA May has admitted that the ‘devastating’ election result made her shed a tear which burne [...]
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May in worst relaunch since Opal Fruits became Starburst
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THERESA May's attempted relaunch is the worst since the Opal Fruits-Starburst catastrophe of 1998, i [...]
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